Thursday, September 11, 2008

Ooooo, Penguins!

On September 2, 2008, my readers wrote me some adorable Penguin Poetry. Don't you love it?

puerileuwaite said...

I balanced the egg on my feet.
In fact, just above my toes
Is precisely where I parked it.
For this is what pretend penguins do
To get banned from the supermarket.

G-Man said...

Flightless little hobbler,
Fish-Breathed and slow.
Chased by Sharks and Orcas,
Always on the go!
But in the water you are graceful,
More so than Gulls, Geese, and Ducks.
And you always get invited,
'Cause you always wear a Tux!!!!

NYD said...

Australia and South Africa, the Galapagos too.
You'll find them boids everywhere, they belong in a zoo.
You think they're cute?
Have you smelled their poo?
Nothing worse than a bird who has nothing to do!
(Except those who get banned from supermarkets.)

Roxan said...

There once was a penguin named Mux
Who always wore a tux.
He waddled when he walked,
Squeaked when he squawked,
And sold some fish for the bux.

quid said...

I think that I will never see
A penguin lovely as a tree.
A bird that doth in winter wear
An icicle atop his hair.
Poems be writ by fools like me
But only a mommy and daddy penguin...
Well, you know.

Mona said...

Penguins here,
Penguins there,
Penguins, Penguins everywhere.
But not a morsel of them to eat...

Skunkfeathers said...

There once was a penguin from Nantucket,
Who tried to do his penguinette in a bucket...
While wrestling to see, where to put in his thingee,
The penguin got stuck and said ... "Oh, fiddlesticks!"

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


On July 22, 2008, I requested from my readers at PS poetry on the heated subject of ungodly heat. And boy, did they ever rise to the occasion. I thought they did a beautiful job.

Hazy heat wraiths rising from the pavement
Undulate with wild abandon
Like lost souls, reaching for heaven.
But they find no surcease, not on Earth,
Not in July, and they will descend into
Hell if need be to find release,
And they will take you with them,
No questions asked.
"Bring me ice!" cried the sweltering queen,
"July's holy grail. Bring it in great frozen blocks
and your reward shall be ... inside duty."

G-Man said...
The air is dancing.
Undulating waves from Hell.
Man! It's fucking HOT!!!

Kanrei said...
Outside today,
Believe it or not
Even though it's Florida
It ain't all that hot.

Not like the other day
Or two days ago
Where I would sit on the corner
And watch heat waves flow.

They would ripple and wave,
Appearing like some gigantic lake
Off in the distance,
Relief just a fake.

But today for some reason,
I am not questioning why,
It is just a bit above 80
And the humidity is dry.

So I guess what it is
I am trying to say
Is thank you, Serena,
For obviously taking the heat away.

ThatGreenyFlower said...
It's so hot that the cicadas,
Instead of singing,
Evaporate and leave only shells.

NYD said...
Hot! Too hot.
Sweating and squishing from all this damned heat.

The roots of my hair down to smelly feet,
Will get no relief while summer mistreats.

My armpits are swampy and butt crack's a bog.
I lay in my kiddie pool and swell like a log.

Nothing feels good and nothing feels right.
I'll peel off my clothes and dance with delight.

The dancing was done, solace not found.
I'll peel off my skin and lay on the ground.

I start at the toes and end at my top.
A grisly sight, but I just couldn't stop.

Next went the muscles; I tossed them away .
Internal organs just get in the way.

I sat in my bones while a breeze blew right through me.
I suggest that you try it. You'll feel better, really!

Skunkfeathers said...
*tuning fork*...
*shattering ice*

Fire is red, water is blue,
The ice is all melted
And no high ground's in view.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

On: Voodoo Pastry!

On May 19, 2008, my readers wrote Voodoo Pastry poetry.

G-Man said...
Come hither, you gooey filled 'Brownie-Boy,'
Come get licked by Serena Joy.
Chocolaty belly all filled with Cherry,
Yearns to be sucked out by the beautiful Sherry?
A tasty treat that will not be forgotten,
It so wants to be devoured by Miss Begotten.
But it's a Voodoo Brownie, and it has great power!
(After penning this prose, I need a cold shower!)

Charles said...
Flaky outer layers,
Gooey Filling,
Its not a turnover,
Its Zombies illin'.
Not from Dover,
Not from Detroit,
It's hurting immensely,
'Cause it once was a boy.
Parts fell off,
The worst was its 'toy,'
Now there's no proof,
It had ever known joy.
Its not really pastry,
Even though when he was living,
His mind was toasted and baked.
Ah, crap. Why'd I write this?
Now I want cake.

Kanrei said...
This is my Voodoo Pastry Poetry mixed with today's TWISTED LINGUISTICS entry:

Do it weel?
"Yes!" cried the Nawleans cupcake daddy.
Campiong at one hundard calories per hour baby,
A tummy sergon cannot compete against the sweet carmel high priestess delight.
Casteration is payment enough for this Eunich enriched pastry souffle.
Wedding reings and bridal cakes complete the decedent array.
Poliete people pass on the pumpkin Voodoo pie.
Darogitory and all baby.

Mona said...
When Voodoo pastry screamed
"Bean there, done that!"
I could feel accidents a la Mr. Bean
Right at the place where I sat!

/t. said...
voodoo donut

deep fried ring
of batter with pins in it

maybe some of those little sprinkly things on top.

Bilbo said...
There are people you like,
There are those you disdain,
There are those who are pains in the butt.
But what can you do
When they're bothering you?
You can levy the curse of the donut.
The pretzel-stick stake
Is all it will take,
You stick it like Little Jack Horner,
It's not quite as fun
As explosives or guns,
But it won't draw the wrath of the coroner.

On: What's Important to You?

On April 20, 2008, I requested from my readers verses on ... something that is important to you.

G-man said...
Sometimes Love .. Just fits like a Glove!!

Love ... Forever!

Filing for Divorce

Charles said...
Man's Needs:
A job worth a damn.

Hale McKay said...

Where There's Smoke

While I lie there at rest
Watching her upon the bed,
She sensually got undressed;
Nothing needed to be said.

The way she moved was such
It drained the strength of me.
I tensed at her finger's touch
As it traced the length of me.

It was that moment she chose
For her tongue to wet her lip
Before she pulled me so close
That I felt it play on the tip.

Her mouth pursed into an "O,"
And I felt her heat, so warm.
I relaxed as she drew in slow,
Fire coursing through my form.

When she stopped for a minute
I felt tickled, almost laughed;
And the game she was back in it
Teasing and caressing my shaft.

When I had nothing left to spend,
She let me go and turned away.
Alas, all good things must end
As a cigarette dies in an ashtray.

NYD said...
It was an instant

now gone past

...maybe not...


Serena Joy said...
Light from the moon, full,
For better, for worse, courses
Like fire through my veins.

Mona said...


he loved
his brood of chicks
before the avian flu struck...

then he had to slaughter them...
cull them...
spreading gore,
spilling blood
of the ones he loved
as they got diseased...

now he hates the feeling
of memories...
"no brood"
he roars
with finality...

yet...offer him one
passed through fire
offer him one
all spiced
and juicy
tender and throbbing in pain...

offer him one
and he will swallow her
without a comment.

Everyday Haiku

On On April 5, 2008, my readers wrote haikus on what they were doing that day.

Corn Dog said...
Cutting my own hair
One snip here. Razor slice there.
Only me to blame.

Dogs following me.
Will I drop food on the floor?
Will I? Huh? Will I?

Sling said...
Visiting blog pals,
TIVOing 'Arlington road',
What to have for lunch?

G-Man said...
In My Underwear
In front of my computer.
PLEASE put some pants on!!

Charles said...
Hating the sound there,
Overdriven microphone,
Better video.

Installing software,
Ruby on Rails, Apache,
Debian Linux.

Haiku for the you,
Website creation for me,
(Friend actually.)

Hale McKay said...
Waiting for the sun
The weatherman said will be
Shining in the sky.

I will believe it
When I see the clouds are gone
And it is not cold.

But hark there it is
Sitting at the computer
I wonder, is it warm?

Some Pretty Odd Words

On April 2, 2008, I requested poetry using words derived from that day's meme.

Hale McKay said:

I didn't watch the telethon
About the lovely rhododendron,
I was downloading duck hawk files
About those birds flying in the British Isles.

My blue desk top, bold and primary
Depicts an elephant that's contrary,
And his truck swings a cast iron pot
On 5th Avenue at a Yankee sot.
Chewing Spearmint gum the pachyderm schlepper
Ended back in India when he sneezed on a cayenne pepper.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


On April 26, 2008, my readers gave me some fowl limericks. And what fun they were!

VE said...
There once was a discontented duck,
Who just didn’t seem to give a f**k,
His feathers plucked clean,
For sleeping bags gone ‘green,’
Meant even the winters did s**k.

Roxan said...
There was a man named Ferd,
Whose car was covered with turd,
He shouted at the fowl,
As he wiped it with a towel,
And flipped the pigeons the bird.

Serena Joy said...
There once was a brash poulet,
Whose feathers were showy and gay,
'Til she ran out of luck
And spouted the wrong muck.
Now she's a chick fillet.

/t. said...
There once was a man from kent,
Who lived in a coop with a bunch of chickens on whose care and feeding his entire income was spent,
His wife said, "strange..."
And, "something must change!"
So he gave her up for lent!

Charles said...
Although, it may not be jam,
It's certainly not jelly.
When cooked hotter than ham,
Bird meat is good in the belly.

Serena Joy said...
The chicken or the egg, which came first, which comes next?
Well, according to some new scientific text,
And bones and runes, voodoo formulae and DNA,
Here's what the latest findings say:
The lowly chicken descended from Tyrannosaurus rex.

Chickens squawk and chickens dance,
Chickens never want to wear any pants,
If lips they have, then lips they flap,
Clucking about all their chicken crap.
Just begging for a grill on the end of a lance.

Mona said...
There was once a fowl from Flint,
Who fell in love with a fly called Peppermint,
Said the fowl to fly let's flee,
Or your kind will cry foul to thee,
If of fly falling for fowl they get a hint.

Skunkfeathers said...
There once was a duck from Nantucket,
Who flew 'round the world in a bucket;
After an orbit or two,
He hadn't a clue,
So for once more around he said f**k it...

Bilbo said...
There once was a turkey named Martin,
Whose poor back was always a-smartin.'
His breast was enormous,
So the farmer informed us
His name had now been changed to Parton.

Hale McKay said...
Just how is it one can goad
A chicken to cross the road?
If those fowls are males
You see, it never fails,
When hens' breasts are showed.

G-Man said...
An oversexed rooster named named Larry,
Would fuck so much it was scary,
He bragged,"I've banged All types of fowl,
An occassional Owl,
And a slow moving Ostrich named Gary."

Thursday, April 10, 2008

What Are You Doing?

On April 5, 2008, my readers wrote haikus on the subject of "What are you doing today?" They acquitted themselves well!

Corn Dog said...
Cutting my own hair
One snip here. Razor slice there.
Only me to blame.

Dogs following me
Will I drop food on the floor?
Will I? Huh? Will I?

G-Man said...
In My Underwear
In front of my computer.
PLEASE put some pants on!!

Sling said...
Visiting blog pals,
TIVOing 'Arlington road',
What to have for lunch?

Charles said...
Hating the sound there,
Overdriven microphone,
Better video.

Installing software,
Ruby on Rails, Apache,
Debian Linux.

Haiku for the you,
Website creation for me,
(Friend actually.)

Hale McKay said...
Waiting for the sun
The weatherman said will be
Shining in the sky.

I will believe it
When I see the clouds are gone
And it is not cold.

But hark there it is
Sitting at the computer
I wonder, is it warm?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

On: Mojo

On March 18, 2008, my readers wrote poetry dedicated to mojo. Read and enjoy.

VE said...
Oh no!
My afro
is aglow
Because long ago
I lost my mojo
Where did it go?
I do not know
What a bozo.

Kanrei said...
I once had a mojo
Where did it go?
It can't wander fast
It can't wander slow
It can't fly in the sky
It can't swim in the sea
So why did my mojo
Up and leave me?
Was it something I said
Or Something I didn't do?
Did it leave me for another?
Is it there beside you?
I can't believe it would leave me
Sitting here all alone
If you see my mojo
Please remind it to phone.

NYD said...
Be lookin high an low,
for that knob that controls the flow,
of good times - high and bad ones - low.
When emotions take their toll.
Circumstances rock and roll.
Get down to where the gypsies go.
A little shack where the moon don't show.
Then ask the one who lives there, with eyes as black as crows,
to lay on you some powerfull MOJO!

Skunkfeathers said...
There was a young lass from St. Lo,
who thunk to herself Oh F*** no,
her horoscope saw bad mojo,
and for the whole week it will just blow.

Charles said...
The breakfast was fine,
The food totally mine.
Fresh coffee on which to blow,
before a presence did ask, "MoJo?"

Hale McKay said...
Oh no, no!
A poem about Mojo?
Get me some more Joe.
Maybe a rhyme will flow,
Or I might have to eat crow.
On top of old spaghetti - oregano
This makes no sense, I know,
Not at the Vaudevill show
Or the beach at Kokamo.
What means this mojo?
More coffee ya know;
Think more Joe
Like - mo'Jo.
Oh no, no.

G-Man said...
Can you tell me it's real
Can you give me assurance
Is it something perceived
..or a real occurence?

It changes your life
It changes your style
Does it really exist
Or is it just a 'pile?'

Good Mojo, or bad Mojo, we can't ourselves choose it...
But we don't seem to miss it, until we all lose it...

Saturday, February 23, 2008

On: Snakes

On February 22, 2008, my readers answered the call to write "snake" limericks.

Corn Dog said...
There once was a green snake named Joe.
S.J. hit his head with a hoe.
He crawled out the bar,
Drove off in his car,
Seeing stars from rum and the blow.

/t. said...
ode to a
wiggly thing

There once lived fellow named Jake,
With a most unusual take
On a certain reptile
With a gummy big smile,
But not a good word to rhyme.

VE said...
So the thought of a snake makes you sicken,
And you want to leave screamin’ and kickin’,
Though their skin is scaly and rough,
Remember they really aren’t tough,
They still taste just like chicken.

Charles said...
I once had a small snake for a pet,
Something my Grandmother just didn't get,
She claimed it a puff adder,
'Twas a hognose, but no matter.
Into the woods it had to be let.

G-Man said...
A daughter from down on the farm,
Told her father "No cause for alarm!"
This was my very first date,
And I'm sorry I'm late,
But his snake was in need of a charm!

Friday, February 22, 2008

On: Love

My readers waxed poetic on the subject of love on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2008.

Charles said...
Love can never be,
What I'd hoped for, for me.
May the difference be,
That it's different for thee.

G-Man said...
She radiates beauty,
Her smile is perfect light,
Her fragrance faintly lavender,
Her eyes are cheery bright,
Oh, what I'd give to hold her,
And her arms encircling me,
My love for her is infinite,
Like an endless, raging sea.

I think that I'll set sail
In my lover-searching ship,
And I'll sail forever and ever
Until I kiss my lover's lips.

ThatGreenyFlower said...
Tenacious vine climbs,
Tree stands patient, wise, silent,
Blossoms spring to life.

On: Older Women

On February 4, 2008, I asked for verses about "older women." This is what I got.

Charles said...
I think that I shall never see
A woman over seventy
Who would bash her head upon a tree.

Roxan said...
There was a woman quite glamoury,
Except for her saggy mammary,
So she rolled them up
And stuck 'em in her cups,
Now they look fine and dandery.

puerileuwaite said...
There was a pert redhead so smug,
Who had a few years on the Pug,
Though he didn't mind,
As she was sexy and kind,
Forgiving when he pood on the rug.

G-Man said...
On the delicate subject of aging,
A beautiful Redhead was raging,
But it just didn't matter,
Her man list grew fatter,
Because she was sexy, demure, and engaging!

On: Girls Who Wear Glasses

On January 22, 2008, my readers met the challenge for limericks about "girls who wear glasses."

Mona said...
When I recently got my new peepers,
They said it so altered my features,
That though it made me look intelligent,
Yet hid my eyes and their sentiment,
And made people think I looked less deeper.

Charles said...
Girls who wear glasses,
When you throw your improper passes,
Will knock you on your asses.

Little Wing said... *(And Little Wing gets extra points for utilizing that day's Words Gone Wild in her poetry. )

Girls who wear glasses have great looking asses
Never made out of the same mole,
Because their goal
Is to inner-gise their soul
With cleansing thoughts,
So you just gots
To love the girls in glasses!

VE said...
I don’t care if a girl wears glasses,
As long as they have really nice asses,
One that really outclasses
The rest of the ugly butt masses,
I want one of those lasses
With the figure like one of those hourglasses,
And a look that really surpasses,
And is so hot I need sunglasses.

puerileuwaite said...
Girls who wear glasses
Used to miss out on my passes,
But then came Velma from Scooby Doo,
Along with "self-discovery" too,
And to them I now stick like molasses.

Hale McKay said...
Some men don't like women in glasses,
Preferring pert boobs and tight asses;
But for me, give me one with trouble seeing,
Because you'll never know when it's me being
The one out of his league trying to make passes.

Charles said...
Ode to the bespectacled Chick,
To her and all of her clique,
Even the ugly frames from the flick,
And the Irish who used to be called Mic.
It's not how they see,
It's how they see me,
And can I light their fire with my Bic.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

On: New Year's Resolutions

On January 1, 2008, my Parenthetically Speaking readers wrote rhyming verses about New Year's Resolutions.

Hale McKay said...
I Hereby Resolve

Listen my friends and you shall hear
Of my midnight party to spread good cheer.
It was December 31,'07, and oh so late
As I planned my toast to ring in '08,
To wish all everywhere a Happy New Year.

And ere the clock had reached midnight
The spread of appetizers caught my sight;
But I stumbled spilling the whole bunch
And every step I made was met with a crunch.
So I knelt down and ate some just for spite.

So then I crawled, to walk I was unable
And wiped my mouth on someone's sable.
Music was playing so I took a big chance
At that very moment to jump up and dance,
But I forgot I was still under the table.

With hangover, now it all seems like a dream,
Everyone turned when they heard her scream.
It was time to kiss, but here's a kicker,
When she puckered I started to lick her
Coz I thought her makeup was whipped cream.

So now I must make a New Year's resolution
So that I never again need any absolution;
I will never take bacchanalian action
At a party that might leave me in traction.
So, when will I be released from the institution?

ThatGreenyFlower said...
A woman who lived in the South
Resolved, "No more foot in my mouth!"
So she gathered up fluff,
Her mouth for to stuff,
And said, "Can't thay anything nowth!"

Charles said...
New Year's resolutions, one or two or three.
New Year's resolutions, stay away from me.
Too heavy is your weight.
Your burden of responsibility is just too great.
My little habits I'll adjust, if I don't wait too late.
Besides I sometimes benefit, if I procrastinate.

On: The New Year

On December 29, 2007, my readers at Parenthetically Speaking concocted these delicious haikus on the coming New Year.

Serena said...
Good intentions fall
By the wayside. But some will
Survive the new year.

Night falls, spirits rise.
May this New Year divine the
Tao of things to come.

snowelf said...
May this new year bring
Happiness and true joy
To all of our friends

Sling said...
Rather than look back
On that which has gone before,
There's always next year.

Charles said...
A coming New Year,
During which reflect this one,
Was it a good one?

Charles said...
Better this New Year,
Than the last that we had.
Better this person.

/t. said...
2 0 0
7 goodbye hello 2
0 0 8

Corn Dog said...
The old year is out.
A new year is ushered in.
Ball drops in Times Square.

Corn Dog said...
My resolution -
Off Burl Ives before Christmas.
He's already dead?

G-Man said...
Two Thousand Seven
Was Galen's Best Year Ever --
He met Serena!

Hale McKay said...
Tis the time of year
To make up resolutions
So we can break them.