Tuesday, April 21, 2009


On March 26, 2009, I requested sonnets from my readers, to be written using this motley list of blasfomys:

grammor errors
book shalves
gobal warming
I was blind sighted
brake the law

I went first, thusly:

Gobal warming and grammor errors --
Are there any darker terrors?
Such charachers, dare I ponder?
Are they canabals or aritsts, I wonder?
I was asolutely blind sighted! I see, but I do not see,
For what can there be when I will not see what's in front of me?
If the world disappered, supposidly becauase I permote
What's on my book shalves, who would tote the crippled goat?
Oh, I am done for.
I should run for the hills and fear no more.
For should I stop quickly and brake the law,
The comapny attornry would call it a draw
And sue the faux cartographer for millions of bucks,
While I in my daiper -- oh, fluck a duck.

And I had only one brave soul to pick up the gauntlet, but it was a winner:

Skunkfeathers said...

Taking liberty with literary permote,
with these few lines of text I smote,
the idea that one cruciverbally spited,
would lead to this, and I am blind sighted,
in the midst of spring of blizzard's fury,
I falls on my arse, in literal asolutely.
Pathetic is as pathetic's smarming,
and pathetic is those who believe gobal warming,
for it is but for them I say "pshhaw",
and do all I can to brake the
This only gets worse and enough to encourage,
a negative scree couched in verbal descourage,
cuz sonnets ain't much of that what's for me,
and if writ bad enough will bring a stop order from an attornry.

Gnomish Poetry

On January 2, 2009, I requested gnome poetry from my readers. This is what I got. Don't you love it?

Skunkfeathers said...

I gnome he was there
when the sh** bit my ankle
and I punted him.

Free verse...

We had a tiff,
this gnome and me,
when he sez widda smile,
"I didn't mean to get short with you",
and I replied,
"you couldn't help it, ya little runt".
The fight was on...

January 02, 2009 12:53 PM
/t. said...
this bit
of gnome wit


To gnome gnome gnome
Is to love love love
And i do
Love me, too,
Yes i do

January 02, 2009 12:55 PM
VE said...
You know what a Gnome lover I am.

Time for a parody...think John Denver...

Country Roads
Take my gnomes
to the place
They belong
West Virgina
Mountain mamma
Take my gnomes
Country road

January 02, 2009 7:39 PM
g-man said...
Roguish little Gnarly man.
Guardian of yard and booty.
You aren't overly friendly.
But you are very rarely snooty.
They've been stolen out of gardens,
and they occasionally make it home.
And I'd give the world to have in my yard, a female, red-haired, gnome...:-)

January 02, 2009 8:05 PM
NYD said...

Like VE, I can't think of any poetry so here's a jingle. (Home on the Range)

I and a Gnome with hair thoroughly combed,went out to a party one day.
we got a litle too stoned on some good 'ol home grown. Then found out it was karaoke day

Gnome,gnome on the stage
With a microphone, beer and a "J".
Now it's time to go home,so I'll just pick up my Gnome. And say: "Thanks for inviting us,Yay!"

January 03, 2009 6:58 PM