On April 26, 2008, my readers gave me some fowl limericks. And what fun they were!
There once was a discontented duck,
Who just didn’t seem to give a f**k,
His feathers plucked clean,
For sleeping bags gone ‘green,’
Meant even the winters did s**k.
There was a man named Ferd,
Whose car was covered with turd,
He shouted at the fowl,
As he wiped it with a towel,
And flipped the pigeons the bird.
Serena Joy said...
There once was a brash poulet,
Whose feathers were showy and gay,
'Til she ran out of luck
And spouted the wrong muck.
Now she's a chick fillet.
There once was a man from kent,
Who lived in a coop with a bunch of chickens on whose care and feeding his entire income was spent,
His wife said, "strange..."
And, "something must change!"
So he gave her up for lent!
Although, it may not be jam,
It's certainly not jelly.
When cooked hotter than ham,
Bird meat is good in the belly.
Serena Joy said...
The chicken or the egg, which came first, which comes next?
Well, according to some new scientific text,
And bones and runes, voodoo formulae and DNA,
Here's what the latest findings say:
The lowly chicken descended from Tyrannosaurus rex.
Chickens squawk and chickens dance,
Chickens never want to wear any pants,
If lips they have, then lips they flap,
Clucking about all their chicken crap.
Just begging for a grill on the end of a lance.
There was once a fowl from Flint,
Who fell in love with a fly called Peppermint,
Said the fowl to fly let's flee,
Or your kind will cry foul to thee,
If of fly falling for fowl they get a hint.
There once was a duck from Nantucket,
Who flew 'round the world in a bucket;
After an orbit or two,
He hadn't a clue,
So for once more around he said f**k it...
There once was a turkey named Martin,
Whose poor back was always a-smartin.'
His breast was enormous,
So the farmer informed us
His name had now been changed to Parton.
Hale McKay said...
Just how is it one can goad
A chicken to cross the road?
If those fowls are males
You see, it never fails,
When hens' breasts are showed.
An oversexed rooster named named Larry,
Would fuck so much it was scary,
He bragged,"I've banged All types of fowl,
An occassional Owl,
And a slow moving Ostrich named Gary."