Fowl!

On April 26, 2008, my readers gave me some fowl limericks. And what fun they were!


VE said...
There once was a discontented duck,
Who just didn’t seem to give a f**k,
His feathers plucked clean,
For sleeping bags gone ‘green,’
Meant even the winters did s**k.

Roxan said...
There was a man named Ferd,
Whose car was covered with turd,
He shouted at the fowl,
As he wiped it with a towel,
And flipped the pigeons the bird.

Serena Joy said...
There once was a brash poulet,
Whose feathers were showy and gay,
'Til she ran out of luck
And spouted the wrong muck.
Now she's a chick fillet.

/t. said...
There once was a man from kent,
Who lived in a coop with a bunch of chickens on whose care and feeding his entire income was spent,
His wife said, "strange..."
And, "something must change!"
So he gave her up for lent!

Charles said...
Although, it may not be jam,
It's certainly not jelly.
When cooked hotter than ham,
Bird meat is good in the belly.

Serena Joy said...
The chicken or the egg, which came first, which comes next?
Well, according to some new scientific text,
And bones and runes, voodoo formulae and DNA,
Here's what the latest findings say:
The lowly chicken descended from Tyrannosaurus rex.


Chickens squawk and chickens dance,
Chickens never want to wear any pants,
If lips they have, then lips they flap,
Clucking about all their chicken crap.
Just begging for a grill on the end of a lance.

Mona said...
There was once a fowl from Flint,
Who fell in love with a fly called Peppermint,
Said the fowl to fly let's flee,
Or your kind will cry foul to thee,
If of fly falling for fowl they get a hint.

Skunkfeathers said...
There once was a duck from Nantucket,
Who flew 'round the world in a bucket;
After an orbit or two,
He hadn't a clue,
So for once more around he said f**k it...

Bilbo said...
There once was a turkey named Martin,
Whose poor back was always a-smartin.'
His breast was enormous,
So the farmer informed us
His name had now been changed to Parton.

Hale McKay said...
Just how is it one can goad
A chicken to cross the road?
If those fowls are males
You see, it never fails,
When hens' breasts are showed.

G-Man said...
An oversexed rooster named named Larry,
Would fuck so much it was scary,
He bragged,"I've banged All types of fowl,
An occassional Owl,
And a slow moving Ostrich named Gary."

What Are You Doing?

On April 5, 2008, my readers wrote haikus on the subject of "What are you doing today?" They acquitted themselves well!

Corn Dog said...
Cutting my own hair
One snip here. Razor slice there.
Only me to blame.

Dogs following me
Will I drop food on the floor?
Will I? Huh? Will I?

G-Man said...
In My Underwear
In front of my computer.
PLEASE put some pants on!!

Sling said...
Visiting blog pals,
TIVOing 'Arlington road',
What to have for lunch?

Charles said...
Hating the sound there,
Overdriven microphone,
Better video.

Installing software,
Ruby on Rails, Apache,
Debian Linux.

Haiku for the you,
Website creation for me,
(Friend actually.)

Hale McKay said...
Waiting for the sun
The weatherman said will be
Shining in the sky.

I will believe it
When I see the clouds are gone
And it is not cold.

But hark there it is
Sitting at the computer
I wonder, is it warm?

On: Mojo

On March 18, 2008, my readers wrote poetry dedicated to mojo. Read and enjoy.

VE said...
Oh no!
My afro
is aglow
Because long ago
I lost my mojo
Where did it go?
I do not know
What a bozo.

Kanrei said...
I once had a mojo
Where did it go?
It can't wander fast
It can't wander slow
It can't fly in the sky
It can't swim in the sea
So why did my mojo
Up and leave me?
Was it something I said
Or Something I didn't do?
Did it leave me for another?
Is it there beside you?
I can't believe it would leave me
Sitting here all alone
If you see my mojo
Please remind it to phone.

NYD said...
Be lookin high an low,
for that knob that controls the flow,
of good times - high and bad ones - low.
When emotions take their toll.
Circumstances rock and roll.
Get down to where the gypsies go.
A little shack where the moon don't show.
Then ask the one who lives there, with eyes as black as crows,
to lay on you some powerfull MOJO!

Skunkfeathers said...
There was a young lass from St. Lo,
who thunk to herself Oh F*** no,
her horoscope saw bad mojo,
and for the whole week it will just blow.

Charles said...
The breakfast was fine,
The food totally mine.
Fresh coffee on which to blow,
before a presence did ask, "MoJo?"

Hale McKay said...
Uh-oh.
Oh no, no!
A poem about Mojo?
Get me some more Joe.
Maybe a rhyme will flow,
Or I might have to eat crow.
On top of old spaghetti - oregano
This makes no sense, I know,
Not at the Vaudevill show
Or the beach at Kokamo.
What means this mojo?
More coffee ya know;
Think more Joe
Like - mo'Jo.
Oh no, no.
Uh-oh.

G-Man said...
Can you tell me it's real
Can you give me assurance
Is it something perceived
..or a real occurence?

It changes your life
It changes your style
Does it really exist
Or is it just a 'pile?'

Good Mojo, or bad Mojo, we can't ourselves choose it...
But we don't seem to miss it, until we all lose it...

On: Snakes

On February 22, 2008, my readers answered the call to write "snake" limericks.

Corn Dog said...
There once was a green snake named Joe.
S.J. hit his head with a hoe.
He crawled out the bar,
Drove off in his car,
Seeing stars from rum and the blow.

/t. said...
ode to a
wiggly thing

There once lived fellow named Jake,
With a most unusual take
On a certain reptile
With a gummy big smile,
But not a good word to rhyme.

VE said...
So the thought of a snake makes you sicken,
And you want to leave screamin’ and kickin’,
Though their skin is scaly and rough,
Remember they really aren’t tough,
They still taste just like chicken.

Charles said...
I once had a small snake for a pet,
Something my Grandmother just didn't get,
She claimed it a puff adder,
'Twas a hognose, but no matter.
Into the woods it had to be let.

G-Man said...
A daughter from down on the farm,
Told her father "No cause for alarm!"
This was my very first date,
And I'm sorry I'm late,
But his snake was in need of a charm!

On: Love

My readers waxed poetic on the subject of love on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2008.

Charles said...
Love can never be,
What I'd hoped for, for me.
May the difference be,
That it's different for thee.

G-Man said...
She radiates beauty,
Her smile is perfect light,
Her fragrance faintly lavender,
Her eyes are cheery bright,
Oh, what I'd give to hold her,
And her arms encircling me,
My love for her is infinite,
Like an endless, raging sea.

I think that I'll set sail
In my lover-searching ship,
And I'll sail forever and ever
Until I kiss my lover's lips.

ThatGreenyFlower said...
Tenacious vine climbs,
Tree stands patient, wise, silent,
Blossoms spring to life.

On: Older Women

On February 4, 2008, I asked for verses about "older women." This is what I got.

Charles said...
I think that I shall never see
A woman over seventy
Who would bash her head upon a tree.

Roxan said...
There was a woman quite glamoury,
Except for her saggy mammary,
So she rolled them up
And stuck 'em in her cups,
Now they look fine and dandery.

puerileuwaite said...
There was a pert redhead so smug,
Who had a few years on the Pug,
Though he didn't mind,
As she was sexy and kind,
Forgiving when he pood on the rug.

G-Man said...
On the delicate subject of aging,
A beautiful Redhead was raging,
But it just didn't matter,
Her man list grew fatter,
Because she was sexy, demure, and engaging!

On: Girls Who Wear Glasses

On January 22, 2008, my readers met the challenge for limericks about "girls who wear glasses."


Mona said...
When I recently got my new peepers,
They said it so altered my features,
That though it made me look intelligent,
Yet hid my eyes and their sentiment,
And made people think I looked less deeper.

Charles said...
Girls who wear glasses,
When you throw your improper passes,
Will knock you on your asses.

Little Wing said... *(And Little Wing gets extra points for utilizing that day's Words Gone Wild in her poetry. )

Girls who wear glasses have great looking asses
Never made out of the same mole,
Because their goal
Is to inner-gise their soul
With cleansing thoughts,
So you just gots
To love the girls in glasses!

VE said...
I don’t care if a girl wears glasses,
As long as they have really nice asses,
One that really outclasses
The rest of the ugly butt masses,
I want one of those lasses
With the figure like one of those hourglasses,
And a look that really surpasses,
And is so hot I need sunglasses.

puerileuwaite said...
Girls who wear glasses
Used to miss out on my passes,
But then came Velma from Scooby Doo,
Along with "self-discovery" too,
And to them I now stick like molasses.

Hale McKay said...
Some men don't like women in glasses,
Preferring pert boobs and tight asses;
But for me, give me one with trouble seeing,
Because you'll never know when it's me being
The one out of his league trying to make passes.

Charles said...
Ode to the bespectacled Chick,
To her and all of her clique,
Even the ugly frames from the flick,
And the Irish who used to be called Mic.
It's not how they see,
It's how they see me,
And can I light their fire with my Bic.