On: Snakes

On February 22, 2008, my readers answered the call to write "snake" limericks.

Corn Dog said...
There once was a green snake named Joe.
S.J. hit his head with a hoe.
He crawled out the bar,
Drove off in his car,
Seeing stars from rum and the blow.

/t. said...
ode to a
wiggly thing

There once lived fellow named Jake,
With a most unusual take
On a certain reptile
With a gummy big smile,
But not a good word to rhyme.

VE said...
So the thought of a snake makes you sicken,
And you want to leave screamin’ and kickin’,
Though their skin is scaly and rough,
Remember they really aren’t tough,
They still taste just like chicken.

Charles said...
I once had a small snake for a pet,
Something my Grandmother just didn't get,
She claimed it a puff adder,
'Twas a hognose, but no matter.
Into the woods it had to be let.

G-Man said...
A daughter from down on the farm,
Told her father "No cause for alarm!"
This was my very first date,
And I'm sorry I'm late,
But his snake was in need of a charm!

On: Love

My readers waxed poetic on the subject of love on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2008.

Charles said...
Love can never be,
What I'd hoped for, for me.
May the difference be,
That it's different for thee.

G-Man said...
She radiates beauty,
Her smile is perfect light,
Her fragrance faintly lavender,
Her eyes are cheery bright,
Oh, what I'd give to hold her,
And her arms encircling me,
My love for her is infinite,
Like an endless, raging sea.

I think that I'll set sail
In my lover-searching ship,
And I'll sail forever and ever
Until I kiss my lover's lips.

ThatGreenyFlower said...
Tenacious vine climbs,
Tree stands patient, wise, silent,
Blossoms spring to life.

On: Older Women

On February 4, 2008, I asked for verses about "older women." This is what I got.

Charles said...
I think that I shall never see
A woman over seventy
Who would bash her head upon a tree.

Roxan said...
There was a woman quite glamoury,
Except for her saggy mammary,
So she rolled them up
And stuck 'em in her cups,
Now they look fine and dandery.

puerileuwaite said...
There was a pert redhead so smug,
Who had a few years on the Pug,
Though he didn't mind,
As she was sexy and kind,
Forgiving when he pood on the rug.

G-Man said...
On the delicate subject of aging,
A beautiful Redhead was raging,
But it just didn't matter,
Her man list grew fatter,
Because she was sexy, demure, and engaging!

On: Girls Who Wear Glasses

On January 22, 2008, my readers met the challenge for limericks about "girls who wear glasses."


Mona said...
When I recently got my new peepers,
They said it so altered my features,
That though it made me look intelligent,
Yet hid my eyes and their sentiment,
And made people think I looked less deeper.

Charles said...
Girls who wear glasses,
When you throw your improper passes,
Will knock you on your asses.

Little Wing said... *(And Little Wing gets extra points for utilizing that day's Words Gone Wild in her poetry. )

Girls who wear glasses have great looking asses
Never made out of the same mole,
Because their goal
Is to inner-gise their soul
With cleansing thoughts,
So you just gots
To love the girls in glasses!

VE said...
I don’t care if a girl wears glasses,
As long as they have really nice asses,
One that really outclasses
The rest of the ugly butt masses,
I want one of those lasses
With the figure like one of those hourglasses,
And a look that really surpasses,
And is so hot I need sunglasses.

puerileuwaite said...
Girls who wear glasses
Used to miss out on my passes,
But then came Velma from Scooby Doo,
Along with "self-discovery" too,
And to them I now stick like molasses.

Hale McKay said...
Some men don't like women in glasses,
Preferring pert boobs and tight asses;
But for me, give me one with trouble seeing,
Because you'll never know when it's me being
The one out of his league trying to make passes.

Charles said...
Ode to the bespectacled Chick,
To her and all of her clique,
Even the ugly frames from the flick,
And the Irish who used to be called Mic.
It's not how they see,
It's how they see me,
And can I light their fire with my Bic.

On: New Year's Resolutions

On January 1, 2008, my Parenthetically Speaking readers wrote rhyming verses about New Year's Resolutions.

Hale McKay said...
I Hereby Resolve

Listen my friends and you shall hear
Of my midnight party to spread good cheer.
It was December 31,'07, and oh so late
As I planned my toast to ring in '08,
To wish all everywhere a Happy New Year.

And ere the clock had reached midnight
The spread of appetizers caught my sight;
But I stumbled spilling the whole bunch
And every step I made was met with a crunch.
So I knelt down and ate some just for spite.

So then I crawled, to walk I was unable
And wiped my mouth on someone's sable.
Music was playing so I took a big chance
At that very moment to jump up and dance,
But I forgot I was still under the table.

With hangover, now it all seems like a dream,
Everyone turned when they heard her scream.
It was time to kiss, but here's a kicker,
When she puckered I started to lick her
Coz I thought her makeup was whipped cream.

So now I must make a New Year's resolution
So that I never again need any absolution;
I will never take bacchanalian action
At a party that might leave me in traction.
So, when will I be released from the institution?

ThatGreenyFlower said...
A woman who lived in the South
Resolved, "No more foot in my mouth!"
So she gathered up fluff,
Her mouth for to stuff,
And said, "Can't thay anything nowth!"

Charles said...
New Year's resolutions, one or two or three.
New Year's resolutions, stay away from me.
Too heavy is your weight.
Your burden of responsibility is just too great.
My little habits I'll adjust, if I don't wait too late.
Besides I sometimes benefit, if I procrastinate.

On: The New Year

On December 29, 2007, my readers at Parenthetically Speaking concocted these delicious haikus on the coming New Year.

Serena said...
Good intentions fall
By the wayside. But some will
Survive the new year.

Night falls, spirits rise.
May this New Year divine the
Tao of things to come.

snowelf said...
May this new year bring
Happiness and true joy
To all of our friends

Sling said...
Rather than look back
On that which has gone before,
There's always next year.

Charles said...
A coming New Year,
During which reflect this one,
Was it a good one?

Charles said...
Better this New Year,
Than the last that we had.
Better this person.

/t. said...
2 0 0
7 goodbye hello 2
0 0 8

Corn Dog said...
The old year is out.
A new year is ushered in.
Ball drops in Times Square.

Corn Dog said...
My resolution -
Off Burl Ives before Christmas.
He's already dead?

G-Man said...
Two Thousand Seven
Was Galen's Best Year Ever --
He met Serena!

Hale McKay said...
Tis the time of year
To make up resolutions
So we can break them.

My True Love Gave To Me

On December 1, 2007, I asked my Parenthetically Speaking readers for haikus about an item "My True Love Gave To Me..." As always, they delivered.

snowelf said...
gave to me...
My own personal chef!!!

Bless you Chef Pierre!
No longer will I have to
Ever cook again!

Scary Monster said...
gave to me...
a kiss.

Lips love happiness.
Strange truth heard when leaves fell.
The green Monster stomped.

G-Man said...
gave to me...
A smile..

Smile for me Sherry,
I love making you happy,
And I always will

ThatGreenyFlower said...
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a solar-powered self-cleaning bathroom!

Efficient bathroom,
Fragrant, pristine, fabulous
Fun to pee in here!

Charles said...
a life of waiting to find her.

Waiting to find her,
My life's longing for true love.
Guess self love will do.

Mona said...
a night of sleep in his arms...

Promise I won't move,
Disturbing you is not my wish,
Bury me in the morn.